When The Last Teardrop Falls
by DreamWeaver02
Summary: Trowa passes away... can Quatre ever heal? A sad songfic that will definitely touch the heart. 3X4, ANGST.


AN: Oh no!! What have I done??? Poor Quatre and Trowa!!! *sniff* This is my second songfic, and although it _is_ angsty, I still love it. *wipes away a tear* Now here's the scary thought… this is my first yaoi/shonen ai thingy that I've EVER WRITTEN!!!! I hope it'll be deemed acceptable… ^_~

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. If I did, then this disclaimer would be pointless, and I wouldn't be sitting here having nothing to do with NO MONEY!!! Also, I don't own this song either. 'When the Last Teardrop Falls' is done by (and belongs to) Blaque. ^__^

WARNINGS: AAAAANNNNGGGSSSSTTTT!!!!!!!! ANGST ANGST ANGST!!!! DEATH!!! Oh, and 3X4 ^__^;;

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When The Last Teardrop Falls

__

'It's so hard to lose the one you love

To finally have to say goodbye

You try to be strong but the pain keeps holdin' on

And all that you can do is cry

Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on

When the fairy tale that you once knew is gone'

Quatre sat beside the hospital bed, his head in his hands. Trowa was going to wake up. He _had_ to wake up. Eventually, he had to wake up. Quatre looked up at his lover, fear seizing his throat. The machines bleeped accordingly, signaling Trowa's faint strand of life, but it did nothing to ease Quatre's heart.

The blonde had always feared something like this… having someone he cared for get seriously injured in battle. It was always there in the back of his mind, smiling at him like a demon. He always pushed it away then, forced himself not to worry. 'It won't happen.' he had told himself, in order to feel better. 'This is how things are. We're gundam pilots and we fight. We always complete our missions and live to accept the next one…'

But now he wished that he never ignored his fears. Acknowledging how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away would have provoked him to spend more time with those he cared about. Now the black hand of war had seized the one he loved the most, the one who had seized his heart. 'You have to get better…' Quatre thought to himself. Restrained tears welled inside his body, but they didn't show. Instead he forced himself to smile.

"Trowa…" Quatre whispered, taking the other's hand. "I know you can hear me. You'll get better, you'll see. And when this is all over, the two of us will still be together and we'll go away somewhere. We'll never have to look back. We'll be happy… Trowa… I promise I'll make you so happy…"

Quatre kissed his hand and interlaced his fingers with Trowa's and gave a gentle squeeze. The gentle blonde's eyes finally began to fill with unshed tears, and when the tears finally fell down his soft cheeks and onto Trowa's hand, Trowa's lifeline went flat.

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'When the last tear drop falls

I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories

And all of what used to be

When the last tear drop falls

I will stand tall

And know that you're here with me in my heart

When the last tear drop falls'

Quatre stared up at the ceiling of his room, while the clock read 3:34 a.m. His pillow was wet with his tears, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. A constant ringing filled his ears; he still heard the sound of the hospital machine telling him what he feared most…Trowa wasn't going to ever wake up.

Quatre sat up then, in the darkness of his room. He clenched the sheets of the bed… the bed where he had spent many nights with Trowa. Many beautiful, perfect nights. The smell of his lover drifted up to him from the bed. He still hadn't changed the sheets.

Tears fell onto his legs as his body shook with sobs. "Trowa…" Quatre whispered into the night. The silence of the room and Trowa's old scent was all that lingered… It was the only memory left that was still tangible. "I'm sorry…" Quatre continued. "I doubted, I was afraid that you wouldn't make it… I'm so sorry…"

Quatre couldn't choke out the rest of the words. Instead, his mind finished for him. 'My doubts lead to me losing you… I feared it too much. Thought about it too often. Then it finally happened, and I wish that I never thought it, not once. Trowa, I'm so sorry… Please forgive me… I miss you so much…'

__

'So now I'm alone and life keeps movin' on

But my destination still unknown, oh yeah

Will there be a time when I'll fall in love again?

When I just meant to walk these streets alone

If there was just one wish I could be granted here tonight

It would be to have you right back by my side'

The streets were iced and sparkling, the snow on the trees made the branches droop. Moonlight lit everything into a periwinkle color. The entire setup was beautiful. Quatre acknowledged it with a feeling of loss, and also a feeling of nostalgia. He walked down the sidewalk quietly, hands in the pockets of his long khaki colored coat.

Quatre smiled to himself in reminiscence. 'It was on a night just like this where Trowa first told me he loved me. It's been a year since that night.'

Quatre paused outside of the local Café, and looked at the happy couple that sat in the far corner. He placed his hand on the glass, remembering. He and Trowa had sat there once upon a time. Quatre shook his head and continued his nightly walk.

A small winter breeze went by, chilling Quatre's hand momentarily, followed by a slight feeling of warmth… Quatre stopped in his tracks. He stared at his hand, then shook his head. 'No, not possible. Trowa's gone. You're just missing him so much that you're feeling what you remember.'

Still, the blonde couldn't get that intangible warmth that has brushed his hand out of his mind.

Like always, Quatre found himself at the park, approaching his favorite bench where he had sat with his lover on multiple occasions, enjoying the small fountain ahead. Quatre walked up to the fountain, looking at the icy waters that splashed down from the top. It was the beginning of winter, not yet cold enough to freeze the entire fountain. At the bottom of the small pool numerous coins shined back. Quatre added his own and said, "Happy anniversary, Trowa… I really wish you were here tonight. You would love it."

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'When the last tear drop falls

I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories

And all of what used to be

When the last tear drop falls

I will stand tall

And know that you're here with me in my heart

When the last tear drop falls'

The headstone shined in the bright sunlight, and still Quatre pulled out his handkerchief and polished it clean. He let his hand linger on Trowa's name for an extra moment. He smiled sadly at it and sighed.

"Hello, Trowa… sorry I haven't seen you in a while." Quatre started. "It still hurts too much to come here often enough. I found some of our old letters, by the way. Reminded me of how much I love you, not that I need reminding of course." Tears began to choke Quatre's words into occasional forced squeaks. He let his hand trail down the headstone to the earth at the base of it. His fingers played with the tufts of grass. "I miss you… so much. Sometimes it's unbearable. There's not a minute that goes by that I don't think about you, dream about you."

Quatre bowed his head and closed his eyes, as a tear fell onto his cheek. He roughly wiped it away. He was tired of crying. Tired of feeling so much pain every day, having to carry it around like a ball and chain.

A gust of wind went by, drying Quatre's eyes and warming his face. For a split second, it felt as if something had brushed against his lips, but Quatre reminded himself it was only the wind. The leaves rattled from it, and he could almost hear them whispering his name.

__

'Now it's time for me to find my happiness again

And the emptiness from missin' you

Will never ever end, baby'

That night, Quatre went to bed early. He was so exhausted in his deep slumber, he didn't notice the wind force his window shutters open. Instead, Quatre dreamed…

"Quatre…" a gentle voice called to him, a voice he hadn't heard for a year and a half.

"Trowa…" Quatre breathed. "Where are you…?"

"With you." Trowa responded. Quatre couldn't see him, though. He looked around desperately. Instead, all that met his eyes were colors that seemed to shift in and out in confusing patterns.

"I can't see you!" Quatre called desperately.

"Of course you can't. But you can feel me…" Trowa replied calmly.

Quatre put his hand to his heart. Finally he whispered, "It's not enough…"

"It never will be enough," Trowa replied. "but it's alright. You shouldn't have to hurt anymore, Quatre."

"It'll always hurt. I love you, and I can't hold you anymore." Quatre replied.

"Quatre, don't live in the pain." Trowa pleaded to him. "Don't throw away your life on my account."

"But Trowa-"

"I'll always be here for you, in a sense. When the time comes, you'll see me again." Trowa replied with a whisper.

Quatre continued to look around. Finally the air shimmered before him, and a familiar uni-banged someone greeted his eyes. "I'm dreaming…" Quatre whispered. Trowa didn't answer him, but stared at him with that familiar look in his eyes. Finally, he hugged Quatre, sending a warmth through the blonde's body like sunshine. It was tangible yet it wasn't. Quatre didn't care. He knew this feeling, and he needed it however it came for him.

Finally Trowa whispered, "I love you, Quatre. Please don't be sad anymore. Don't let it consume you. It's not your fault I couldn't make it. You were with me to the end, you're still with me. Don't blame yourself. I love you."

Quatre's eyes opened then, and he was greeted with only the sight of his dark room. Still, the warmth he had felt didn't leave him immediately like all of his previous dreams, and this time the window was open. The shutters banged repeatedly, and Quatre got up to close them. Cool night air caressed him, bringing Goosebumps to his skin.

And still the warmth didn't leave him.

__

'When the last tear drop falls

I'll still be holdin' on to all of our memories

And all of what used to be

When the last tear drop falls

I will stand tall

And know that you're here with me in my heart

When the last tear drop falls'


End file.
